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Writer's pictureKarthika DR

Grief and loss: A Small Guide

Updated: Jul 18


A grieving man
Grief. It's a heavy word, loaded with emotions we often struggle to express or even understand.

It's something we all experience at some point, yet talking about it openly can feel awkward or even taboo. But guess what? Grief is a natural part of life, and there's no shame in acknowledging it.


Imagine this: someone close to you loses a loved one. Your first instinct is to comfort them, right? You might say things like, "At least you had them for a while," hoping to ease their pain. But experts warn against this approach. Why? Because grief isn't a problem to be solved. It's a complex kaleidoscope of emotions, and everyone experiences it differently. Some people might cry for weeks, while others seem to move on quickly. There's no right or wrong way to grieve – it's a deeply personal journey.


So, what can we do to truly support someone who's grieving? Instead of trying to "fix" them, shift your focus on simply being there for them. Here's how:

  • Ditch the normal. Skip the generic advice like "Everything happens for a reason." It might sound comforting in your head, but trust us, it often lands flat. Instead, offer practical help: "Can I pick up groceries?" or "Let me take the kids for a few hours." Actions speak louder than words!

  • Be a listening ear, not a lecturer. Sometimes the best comfort is a silent shoulder to cry on. Let them vent, rage, or simply sit in silence – whatever they need to do. Don't feel pressured to offer solutions; just be present and offer unwavering support.

  • Embrace the awkward. We all worry about saying the "wrong" thing. But guess what? There is no "wrong" thing to say when someone is grieving. Be honest: "I'm not sure how to help, but I'm here for you. Even if I mess up, please tell me."


two men

Now, what if you're the one grappling with grief? Here's the good news: Your feelings are valid! Society might tell you to "get over it" and move on, but that's simply not how grief works. It's a marathon, not a sprint. There will be good days and bad days, and that's perfectly okay.


Here are some common myths about grief that might be holding you back:

  • Myth 1: Grief has an expiration date. Nope. You might feel waves of sadness even years later. It's okay to grieve at your own pace.

  • Myth 2: Grief is only for death. You can grieve a lost job, a broken relationship, or even your childhood home. Grief is about loss, in all its forms.

  • Myth 3: The "five stages of grief" are a roadmap. These stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) were never meant to be a strict timeline. It's okay to feel all over the place – that is completely normal!


Finding the right resources to navigate your grief journey can feel overwhelming. There are countless organizations, books, and online communities dedicated to grief support. If you're looking for guidance, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in grief. Remember, you're not alone in this. There are people who understand what you're going through and can help you navigate the path ahead.


Grief is a messy, uncomfortable, but ultimately normal part of life. If you're supporting someone who's grieving, just be there for them. Listen, acknowledge their pain, and let them know you care. And if you're grieving yourself, be kind to yourself. There's no timeline for healing. Take it one day at a time, and know that you will get through this.

 

Looking for someone to guide you through this journey? Koott.in is here!


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