How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissistic Parent

Have you ever poured your heart out about a bad day at school, only to get met with a blank stare and a lecture about their day at work? Does celebrating your achievements feel like pulling teeth, while their minor inconveniences turn into family emergencies? Ugh, you might be the child of a self-absorbed parent.

Listen, this isn't your fault. The thing is, some parents are kinda obsessed with themselves, like the main character in a never-ending play. They might brag constantly about their achievements, making yours seem like dust bunnies. Maybe they act like your feelings are a foreign language they just don't speak.  They could even turn every conversation into a story about them, leaving you feeling like a forgotten extra on the set of their life.

Sound familiar?  Yeah, it's not exactly a recipe for a warm and fuzzy childhood. But here's the good news: you can totally move forward and build a life you love.

Why Are They Like This?

Imagine a parent who thinks they're the coolest person ever, like the sun around which the whole world revolves. That's kind of what's going on with a self-absorbed parent. They might:

• Be Super Jealous: Your successes? More like threats to their throne! They might downplay your achievements or even try to steal your spotlight.

• Have Zero Chill: Forget about emotional support. You could be having a meltdown and they'd just stare at you like you're speaking Martian.
  

• Make Everything About Them: Need a listening ear? Nope!  Their hangnail is a national crisis compared to your broken heart.

It's important to remember, this is about them, not you. Their behaviour doesn't define your worth.

Healing from a Self-Centred Storm

Okay, so how do you pick up the pieces and move on? Buckle up, because here's a toolbox full of tips on how to set boundaries with a narcissistic parent

1. Ditch the Anger Backpack: Holding onto anger is like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go. Forgiveness isn't saying they were right, it's about letting go of that anger so you can finally breathe easier.
   

2. Break the Cycle: Maybe your parent had a self-absorbed parent too. Understanding this pattern can help you stop it from happening again, especially if you have (or plan to have) kids of your own.
   

3. Feel Your Feels: You deserved a parent who cheered you on, not one who only cared about themselves. It's totally okay to feel sad or angry about that. Let it out, then let it go.
   

4. Become a Narcissism Ninja: Knowledge is power! The more you know about self-absorbed behaviour, the better you can deal with it. Learn to spot their tactics a mile away and protect yourself from getting hurt.
   

5. Set Up Shop with Boundaries: Boundaries are like invisible walls that keep you safe. You don't have to jump through hoops for someone who doesn't care. Learn to say "no" and take some space if you need to.
   

6. Do You Boo! Stop trying to live your life to please someone who wouldn't notice if you dyed your hair purple (unless it clashed with their outfit, of course). Pursue your dreams and interests, not theirs. This is your chance to shine!
   

7. Find Your Squad: Surround yourself with people who actually like you, for you! True friends will celebrate your wins and be there to catch you when you fall (or when your parent throws you under the bus... figuratively speaking, hopefully).
   

8. Talk it Out: A therapist can be your personal healing cheerleader. They can help you process your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and build strong relationships.
   

Remember, you are not alone! Millions of people have dealt with self-absorbed parents. With some effort and the right support, you can overcome this and build a happy, healthy life filled with people who actually see how awesome you are. You got this!

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