Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT INTRIGUES AND CONFUSES US.
As people, it's natural for us to figure out what love means to us, what we want in a relationship, and why we choose to be with a specific person. While trying to make sense of these things, we often get caught up in a mix of emotions, making it hard to truly grasp our feelings. This can leave us feeling more confused than before, especially because there are many hidden factors that influence how our relationships work.
Love confusion is a state of uncertainty or mixed feelings and emotions that can appear in your relationships. It involves complex interactions with many factors including — insecurity and self-esteem. These can manifest in your relationships in the form of insecurities like jealousy, fear of abandonment, or an excessive need for validation. Low self-esteem can lead to a rise in insecurities.
DECODING THE CONFUSION
Confusion and doubts often come up in romantic relationships. Let's break it down into three types of love that people usually experience.
First is platonic love, which is the love between friends and individuals.
Then, there's familial love, the love you have for your family, whether they're your biological relatives or people you've chosen as family.
Lastly, there's romantic love, which is the special kind of love with intimacy and passion that you feel for someone you're romantically attracted to.
Now, when we talk about confusion in love, we're focusing on the deep emotional connection and attachment between two people in a romantic relationship.
Sometimes, you might find yourself questioning the strength of your relationship.
You might wonder if your partner really loves you, if your relationship can withstand challenges, if your relationship can withstand challenges, or if the nice things they say are genuine or just because you're in a relationship.
These doubts can make you question why your partner loves you, and you might even push them away because you're worried they'll stop liking you due to your imperfections.
These feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem can lead to doubts about your relationship and may make you less satisfied with it.
SELF-ESTEEM AND LOVE
Loving yourself and how you feel about yourself are closely connected.
Researchers have found that there's a link between how you see yourself (your self-esteem) and how happy you are in your relationships. A study by Jaffar and others in 2021 discovered that when people have low self-esteem, they tend to be less satisfied in their relationships. Other studies have consistently shown that those who feel good about themselves generally have better and happier romantic relationships.
When someone has low self-esteem, they might struggle to believe they deserve love and care.
They may doubt acts of love and feel confused about why someone would express affection towards them.
Compliments might make them feel uncomfortable because they think they don't really deserve them. It's important to figure out where these thoughts are coming from. Being aware of this can help improve your self-esteem, which, in turn, can reduce confusion about love and lead to more satisfying relationships.
Improving your self-esteem involves:
Self-Acceptance:Â Understand your strengths and weaknesses and be okay with them.
Realistic Goals:Â Achieve small, doable goals in your relationships to boost your confidence.
Self-Care:Â Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial for feeling good about yourself.
However, even if someone has high self-esteem, they might still feel confused about love. They could be more selective and overthink their choices. Societal norms and standards about what a relationship should be like can impact anyone's self-esteem. If you don't meet these standards, it might lead to insecurities. Someone with these insecurities might question if they truly deserve the love they're receiving.
INSECURITIES AND LOVE
Feeling insecure in a relationship means you think you're not good enough or have flaws. There are various reasons for these insecurities. Even if your partner is expressing love and care clearly, your insecurities can make it tough to truly believe and accept their reassurances.
When we talk about love confusion, we mean how your insecurities and self-esteem issues can make you see acts of kindness and love from your partner as something negative.
You might misunderstand what your partner does, and this can strain your relationship.
Past relationships that didn't go well, personal doubts, low self-esteem, and pressure from society can all contribute to these insecurities.
These insecurities lead to overthinking and misinterpreting your partner's actions and words. Analyzing your relationship too much can make your doubts and confusion bigger. This lack of confidence and self-worth may prevent you from fully enjoying the happiness of a relationship and could even lead to problems with your partner.
Loving and learning to love is not difficult. You might face obstacles while navigating this journey but with self-awareness and personal growth, you can address the love-related confusion.
Share your feelings and fears with your partner and communicate with each other.
By understanding your self-esteem and insecurities and the thoughts that occur because of them, you can strive to foster healthy and happy relationships.
HOW CAN A PSYCHOLOGIST CAN HELP? Feeling like your relationship could use a tune-up? Consider chatting with a friendly psychologist who can help you navigate those tricky spots.
Here's how a psychologist can be your relationship wingman:
Safe space: They create a judgment-free zone where you and your partner can openly discuss anything.
Communication ninjas: They help you listen better to each other and express yourselves clearly, avoiding those frustrating misunderstandings.
Conflict detectives: They dig deep to uncover the root of your issues, helping you see things from each other's perspectives.
Toolbox for conflict: From navigating disagreements to finding common ground, they equip you with tools to tackle tough situations together.
Building a stronger bond: They guide you in setting healthy expectations, nurturing intimacy, and appreciating each other more.
Focus on both of you: They consider your individual needs and help you find ways to support each other's happiness.
Remember, counselling isn't just about fixing problems. It's about investing in your relationship's future, and it can be incredibly rewarding!
Ready to chat with a psychologist? Book an appointment with Koott and get started on a happier, healthier relationship journey.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What is love confusion?
Love confusion refers to a state of uncertainty or mixed emotions in relationships, often influenced by factors like insecurity and self-esteem. It can manifest as feelings of doubt, jealousy, fear of abandonment, or a need for excessive validation.
How can one improve self-esteem?
Can high self-esteem lead to confusion in love?
How can one address love-related confusion in a relationship?
Are you on the lookout for the best Malayali Psychologist for your relationship advice? then
Koott is here, Contact our Koott Listner to get the best therapist that suites for you.
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